The bible teaches to forgive your enemies and those who have wronged you, or God won't forgive you!! 

 

This is one of the most powerful, but also one of the most misunderstood, teachings of Jesus.   Jesus makes a very direct connection between our willingness to forgive others and God's willingness to forgive us.

But there is a deeper meaning here than simply saying, "Forgive people or God won't forgive you."

Let's look at what Jesus actually taught.

1. The Lord's Prayer: Forgiveness is reciprocal

Matthew 6:12–15

Jesus teaches His disciples to pray:

"And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors."

Then He immediately explains:

"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

Notice something important: Jesus doesn't just include forgiveness in the prayer. He emphasizes it immediately afterward.

Why?

Because He is teaching that we cannot sincerely ask God for mercy while deliberately refusing to extend mercy to other people.

We cannot continually demand forgiveness from God while insisting that everyone else deserves our condemnation.

2. The parable of the unforgiving servant

Matthew 18:21–35

This is perhaps Jesus' strongest teaching on forgiveness.

Peter asks Jesus:

"Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?"

Jesus answers:

"I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven."

Jesus then tells a story.

A servant owes his king an enormous debt that he could never repay. The king takes pity on him and forgives the entire debt.

But that same servant encounters another man who owes him a much smaller amount.

Instead of showing the same mercy he received, he grabs the man and demands payment. He even has him thrown into prison.

When the king hears about it, he is furious.

The king says:

"Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?"

(Matthew 18:33)

Jesus concludes:

"So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses."

(Matthew 18:35)

The deeper lesson:

The servant wanted the benefits of mercy without accepting the responsibility of showing mercy.

Jesus is telling us that receiving God's forgiveness should transform how we treat other people.

3. Forgive your enemies, not just your friends

Matthew 5:43–45

Jesus takes forgiveness even further:

"Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you."

Think about what He is asking.

He isn't merely saying:

• Forgive people who apologize.

• Forgive people who admit they were wrong.

• Forgive people who treat you nicely afterward.

He is saying to extend love even toward those who have mistreated you.

Why?

Jesus continues:

"That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven."

In other words, He wants us to reflect God's character, even when dealing with people who don't deserve our kindness.

4. Jesus demonstrates forgiveness while being crucified

Perhaps the greatest demonstration is found in Luke 23:34.

While Jesus is being crucified, suffering at the hands of those responsible, He says:

"Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."

Consider the circumstances.

• He was betrayed.

• He was falsely accused.

• He was mocked.

• He was beaten.

• He was nailed to a cross.

Yet He asks the Father to forgive those responsible.

Jesus didn't wait until everyone apologized before expressing forgiveness.

He demonstrated mercy in the middle of His suffering.

5. Does forgiveness mean allowing someone to hurt you again?

Absolutely not. This is an important distinction.

Forgiveness does not mean:

• You must trust someone who repeatedly betrays you.

• You must remain in an abusive relationship.

• You must allow someone to continue exploiting you.

• You must pretend the wrongdoing never happened.

• You cannot establish boundaries or seek justice.

You can forgive someone while keeping your distance.

Forgiveness releases the desire for personal revenge. Reconciliation requires something more: honesty, accountability, and, where appropriate, restored trust.

6. Why is forgiveness so important to God?

I believe one of the most revealing passages is Ephesians 4:31–32:

"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."

Notice the order:

1. God forgives us.

2. We recognize the magnitude of that forgiveness.

3. We extend forgiveness to others.

Forgiveness is supposed to become part of our character.

There is also a spiritual danger in holding onto hatred, resentment, and bitterness. They can eventually consume the very person who has been wronged.

7. Something especially important: Jesus distinguishes forgiveness from repentance

Consider Luke 17:3–4:

"If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him."

This passage recognizes that wrongdoing should be confronted. Forgiveness does not require pretending that wrongdoing is acceptable.

It also reminds us that repentance matters in restoring relationships.

There is a distinction between:

• Forgiving someone in your heart.

• Restoring a broken relationship.

• Reestablishing trust.

These are not necessarily the same thing.

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The biggest takeaway from Jesus' teaching

 

There is a principle running throughout these passages:

How can we continually ask God to forgive our shortcomings, our mistakes, and our sins, while refusing to forgive another human being for theirs?

Jesus wants us to understand that mercy cannot be something we only receive. It must also be something we give.

And perhaps the most challenging part of His teaching is this:

You don't have to believe someone deserves forgiveness to forgive them.

You forgive because you recognize how much you yourself depend on God's mercy.

One final verse worth remembering:

Mark 11:25:

"And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses."

That is a remarkable instruction. Jesus connects our relationship with God to how we handle our relationships with other people.

The person who has been wronged may have every reason to feel hurt, but Jesus calls that person not to let the hurt turn into hatred.

And that, I believe, is one of the hardest and most important lessons in the entire New Testament.